If Genius is the Tolerance of Ambiguity…

Marriage is its rival. Allow me to test what I mean. Any run-of-the-mill self-help book on relationship will tell you, it’s not about whether you love the person or not. It’s a simple matter of how much. For starters, many couples, when confronted with the frightening question of shared bathroom etiquette early in the relationship rise to the challenge and manage to rank their love of the person above any question of seat up or cap on. Yes, it’s touch and go for awhile there, but inevitably, though it may come up in minor spats down the road, the vast majority of people seeking partnership manage to esteem their beloved above the daily irritation of someone not being just like them.

Then, there’s the night noises to rank. Do you find snoring endearing? Have you agreed, tacitly or otherwise, on which kinds of emissions are acceptable in close proximity of one another? The problem of duration next presents itself. How much time in bed was acceptable in your family of origin and for which member(s) of the family, and under what conditions. Don’t kid yourself, unless you’ve made some vast evolutionary leap, it is, for better or worse, those rules of childhood (or lack thereof) that you’ll confront and try and pin on your partner, time and time again. Be careful of glass houses. Truthful answers to these and other such questions will prevent the slow erosion of affection that can occur when one moves from theory to practice in an unexamined relationship.


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